Glimmers: Harnessing Small Moments for Big Impact
Understanding Glimmers
‘Glimmers’, is a term introduced by Deb Dana to describe those small, often unnoticed moments that create a sense of well-being. They can be as simple as hearing a soothing sound, seeing a friendly face, or noticing something in the environment that brings a smile. These tiny moments gently yet profoundly shape your nervous system toward regulation, helping you feel more grounded and ready for connection.
Glimmers vs. Triggers
While glimmers promote a sense of safety and calm, triggers are cues that signal potential threat, leading to feelings of anxiety or stress. Recognising and focusing on glimmers can act as the antidote to triggers that cause stress or anxiety and help counteract their effects, creating a more balanced emotional state.
The Science Behind Glimmers: Polyvagal Theory
The concept of glimmers aligns with Stephen Porges' Polyvagal Theory, which explores how our nervous system responds to safety and danger. According to Porges, our autonomic nervous system is constantly scanning for cues in the environment—this process is called neuroception. When we perceive safety, the ventral vagal pathway, associated with social engagement and calm, is activated. This helps us feel connected, grounded, and at ease. Conversely, when we perceive a threat, our nervous system shifts into survival states—either sympathetic activation (fight-or-flight) or dorsal vagal shutdown (freeze or collapse).
The polyvagal system is deeply linked to our ability to feel safe in relationships and environments. The ventral vagal state supports prosocial behaviors, allowing us to engage with others, experience joy, and feel a sense of belonging. In contrast, when the sympathetic nervous system takes over, we become hyper-alert, tense, or anxious. If stress becomes overwhelming, the dorsal vagal shutdown response can lead to dissociation, exhaustion, or emotional numbness.
Glimmers act as signals of safety that help keep us in or return us to a regulated state. By intentionally noticing and reinforcing these moments, we can encourage our nervous system to stay in the ventral vagal state more often, enhancing our resilience, emotional stability, and overall well-being. Over time, this can rewire our brain to be more attuned to safety and connection rather than constantly scanning for danger.
By incorporating glimmers into our daily lives, we can build a stronger sense of inner safety and emotional resilience. This process, often called "neural retraining," allows us to shift away from chronic stress patterns and towards a more balanced, engaged, and fulfilling life experience.
Practical Application: Using Glimmers to Manage Anxiety
Over the weekend, I faced a situation that typically triggers my anxiety: driving to a new place! Unfamiliar routes, (especially roundabouts where the lanes just make no sense to me), often leads me to spiraling thoughts and heightened stress. Remembering the concept of glimmers, I consciously focused on positive memories of past drives where I felt calm and in control. This helped me manage my anxiety and continue driving with greater ease.
One of my ultimate glimmers (and heroines!), however is Hen, my cat and her little toe-beans. She’s the one in the photo!
Even when she’s launching herself up and down the stairs with the zoomies, she is self-regulating. One moment, she’s a whirlwind of chaos, and the next, she’s curled up, perfectly at peace and she’s not ashamed of any of it!
Incorporating Glimmers into Daily Life
For those of us who are Highly Sensitive Persons (HSPs), introverts, or neurodivergent individuals, glimmers can be particularly beneficial. We are likely to be much more attuned to environmental stimuli, making it essential to recognise and cultivate glimmers to maintain emotional balance.
Here are some strategies to incorporate glimmers into your daily routine:
Mindful Observation: Take a few moments each day to notice small, positive details in your environment—a bird singing, a warm cup of tea, or a kind smile.
Gratitude Journaling: Keep a journal where you record daily glimmers. Reflecting on these moments can enhance your awareness and appreciation of them.
Sensory Engagement: Engage in activities that stimulate your senses in a calming way, such as listening to soothing music, enjoying a favorite smell, or feeling the texture of a comforting object.
Create Safe Spaces: Designate areas in your home or workspace that are free from overstimulation, where you can retreat to find calm and reconnect with yourself.
Connect with Nature: Spending time outdoors, even in small doses, can provide numerous glimmers through natural sights, sounds, and sensations.
By actively seeking out and embracing glimmers, you can create a more balanced and resilient emotional state, enhancing your overall well-being.
Choosing Your Focus: Glimmers or Triggers?
One of the most empowering aspects of working with glimmers is realising that we have a choice about where to direct our focus. While triggers often grab our attention involuntarily, glimmers require a more intentional approach. This aligns with the practice of mindfulness—being present in the moment and choosing how we respond rather than simply reacting.
When faced with a challenging situation, like feeling overwhelmed or anxious, it's easy to let triggers take centre stage. But by practicing awareness, we can pause and ask ourselves: What am I focusing on right now? Is it helping or hindering me?
Redirecting your focus to glimmers doesn’t mean ignoring the negative or ‘toxic positivity’, —it means giving yourself the balance and space to cope. For instance, if you’re caught in a spiral of self-doubt or fear, you can consciously redirect your thoughts to something that evokes safety or joy, such as a memory, an image, or a comforting sound.
How to Cultivate This Practice
Pause and Breathe: When you notice yourself focusing on a trigger, take a deep breath. This interrupts the automatic response and creates a moment of awareness.
Ask Reflective Questions: Try questions like, What’s one thing I can appreciate in this moment? or Is there something small and positive I can notice right now?
Anchor to the Present: Bring yourself back to the here and now by tuning into your senses. What can you see, hear, smell, or feel that might be a glimmer?
Reframe Your Thoughts: Instead of focusing on what’s going wrong, gently shift to a thought like, What’s one thing I’m handling well right now? This small reframing can make a big difference in how you feel.
Would you like to work with me?
If this resonates with you and you're looking for support in cultivating more glimmers in your life, I’d love to help. As a therapist, I work with HSPs, introverts, neurodivergent individuals, and anyone wanting to feel more regulated, connected, and at ease in their daily life. Get in touch to explore how we can work together to create a greater sense of balance and well-being.