Between Therapy Sessions: How to Manage When Your Emotions Feel Overwhelming
Healing doesn’t just happen within the safe, reflective space of therapy sessions, it’s happening in the spaces in between, too. If you’ve started your journey of inner work, you might notice that emotions, memories, and long-buried patterns are beginning to resurface. At times, this can feel incredibly overwhelming, leaving you feeling raw, uncertain, or even questioning everything you thought you knew.
Please know is that this is completely normal. The fact that you’re feeling more deeply is not a sign that something is wrong with you, it’s actually a sign that you’re healing. For years (or even decades), you may have suppressed painful emotions, distracted yourself, or numbed out as a coping mechanism. Now, you’re doing the opposite: you’re allowing yourself to feel what arises, you’re sitting with your emotions, and you’re learning how to truly be present with yourself.
This is incredibly courageous work. It can be hard, and it’s also deeply transformative. While it may feel overwhelming at times, there are tools you can use to support yourself through this process.
Expanding Your Window of Tolerance
When we begin to feel emotions we’ve long suppressed, it can feel like too much, too soon. This sensation happens because your Window of Tolerance , the optimal state in which you can process emotions without feeling overwhelmed, is being stretched.
If you’re experiencing an overactive nervous system, you may feel anxious, restless, on edge, or even have moments of panic. This means you’ve likely been pushed beyond your window and entered into fight-or-flight mode, where your body reacts as though it’s facing a real danger. On the other hand, if you feel disconnected, exhausted, or numb, it may be a sign that you’ve entered freeze mode, where your nervous system shuts down as a protective response.
Neither of these states is a failure; they simply show that your system is adjusting. With practice, your Window of Tolerance will expand, meaning that over time, the emotions that once felt overwhelming will become more manageable. It's important to remember that it’s not about avoiding triggers or feelings, but about learning how to return to a place of safety and equilibrium within yourself more quickly and easily.
Understanding What’s Happening in Your Brain and Body
The emotional intensity that arises during healing isn’t just psychological; it’s also biological. When past wounds surface, your brain and nervous system may react as though the threat is happening right now.
The amygdala, your brain’s emotional alarm system, becomes highly activated, sending signals of danger even when there is no immediate threat. Meanwhile, the hippocampus, which helps process and regulate memories, may struggle to differentiate between past and present pain. As a result, your old wounds can feel fresh and raw, even though the danger is long gone.
This is where the vagus nerve comes in. It connects your brain to your heart, gut, and other organs, playing a pivotal role in whether you feel calm and safe or anxious and activated. A well-regulated vagus nerve enables you to return to a balanced state more quickly after stress. If it’s weak or underactive, it can leave you feeling stuck in the fight-or-flight or freeze response, making it more challenging to find calm.
Somatic Practices to Regulate Your Nervous System
Since healing involves both the mind and the body, regulating your nervous system is a crucial part of the process. Here are some effective somatic practices to support you in moments of overwhelm:
Deep Belly Breathing: Slow, deep breaths activate the parasympathetic nervous system, helping to calm the fight-or-flight response.
Humming, Singing, or Chanting: The vibrations from these activities stimulate the vagus nerve, promoting relaxation and grounding.
Cold Water Therapy: Splashing cold water on your face or taking a cold shower helps reset your nervous system, shifting you out of fight-or-flight mode.
Movement: Whether it’s walking, stretching, yoga, or even shaking out tension, movement helps discharge stored stress and restores your sense of agency.
Self-Massage: Gentle, mindful massage on areas like the neck, jaw, or ears can release tension and soothe the nervous system.
Vagus Nerve Reset Exercises: There are plenty of accessible exercises that can help tone and strengthen your vagus nerve, making it easier to regain balance during emotional surges.
These simple yet powerful practices can help expand your Window of Tolerance, making it easier to process difficult emotions rather than being flooded by them.
Nourishing Your Body and Mind
Your nervous system is directly impacted by what you put into (and onto) your body. Emotional healing can feel exhausting, and your body needs the right fuel to support you through this process.
Nutrition matters: Try to limit ultra-processed foods, which can lead to blood sugar crashes and mood swings. Instead, focus on whole, nourishing foods that provide steady energy throughout the day.
Hydration is also essential. Dehydration can lead to fatigue, brain fog, and increased anxiety, so make sure you’re drinking plenty of water throughout the day.
Certain nutrients are particularly important when you’re processing emotions:
Vitamin D is vital, especially in the winter months when sunlight is limited.
B vitamins support your nervous system and help regulate energy levels.
Magnesium is excellent for promoting relaxation and reducing anxiety.
Fermented foods, like kimchi, sauerkraut, kefir, and kombucha, can also support gut health, which is directly linked to mood and emotional regulation. The gut-brain connection plays a huge role in how we feel, and nourishing your microbiome can help stabilise your nervous system from the inside out.
Additionally, consider what you’re putting on your skin. Products with harsh chemicals and toxins can disrupt your nervous system, so think of using clean, non-toxic skincare and body care products as another way to nurture yourself.
Connection Is the Antidote
Surrounding yourself with people who make you feel safe, understood, and accepted can make an enormous difference. If you don’t have people in your immediate circle who can offer that support, it’s still important to connect with someone or something that feels grounding for you.
If you're feeling isolated, consider reaching out to support lines or online communities where you can talk to trained professionals or like-minded people. Many mental health services offer helplines where you can receive guidance, comfort, or simply a listening ear. Remember, you’re not alone, and there are people out there who care.
Pets can also provide a deep sense of comfort and companionship. If you have a pet, their unconditional love and presence can help soothe anxiety and bring a sense of calm. Studies show that spending time with animals can lower stress levels and promote feelings of safety.
Creating safe spaces in your environment can also be powerful. Consider repurposing a corner in your home for self-care—a space that feels peaceful, where you can engage in calming activities like journaling, meditation, or simply sitting in quiet reflection with a weighted blanket. Even when it feels hard to reach out to others, having a sanctuary where you feel grounded and at ease can make a huge difference.
If there are unresolved tensions in your life, consider whether a conversation might help to clear the air. Sometimes, acknowledging lingering emotions can free up space within you.
As Johann Hari says, “The opposite of addiction is not sobriety, it’s connection.” When emotions feel overwhelming, reach out in whatever way feels safest for you.
Be Your Own Cheerleader
One of the most important aspects of healing is learning to speak to yourself with kindness. So many of us have an inner critic that tells us we’re not doing enough, that we should be coping better, or that we’re somehow failing.
Healing isn’t about perfection; it’s about learning to be on your own side. Here are a few ways you can cheer yourself on:
Re-parent yourself: Speak to yourself with the same gentleness, patience, and reassurance you would offer to a struggling child.
Challenge your inner critic: If you catch yourself being harsh, pause and ask, “Would I say this to someone I love?”
Trust yourself: Healing isn’t about always feeling ‘good’; it’s about trusting that you can handle whatever life brings.
You Are Not Broken—You Are Healing
If you’re feeling things more than ever before, if emotions feel messy, if you’re questioning everything, this is a sign of growth, not failure. The fact that you are allowing yourself to feel after years of numbing is proof of your courage.
We’re rarely taught to embrace our emotions. Instead, many of us were conditioned to suppress, to keep going, to fit into systems that don’t make space for real feelings. But now, you’re breaking that cycle and that’s powerful.
Learning to trust yourself, to allow space for your emotions, and to break free from the patterns that have kept you stuck can be challenging, but it’s worth it. it’s a process that I’ve had to go through myself and still, in my 50s, I’m always learning what helps me regulate my nervous system and feel more grounded. Everything I’ve shared here—whether it’s breathwork, movement, nutrition, or somatic practices—has been tried and tested by me, and I know firsthand that healing isn’t a straight line. Some days are easier than others, but every small step adds up.
There’s no need to tackle everything all at once. Pick one small practice to start with and see how you feel.
You don’t need fixing because you were never broken. The goal of this work isn’t to be happy all the time, it’s to build the resilience to face whatever life brings, knowing you can handle it.
If you're ready for more support in this healing journey, I’d love to work with you. Get in touch whenever you're ready to explore this together.